Why I don't want to turn 21

I'M NOT

I should not be allowed to make big decisions for my life (even though I already have...) . I should not allowed to get older (even though I am). I'm a child for crying out loud.  My idea of ultimate fun is not going out, drinking, or doing whatever it is I can now do "legally " (not saying I won't enjoy it).  No, ultimate fun = Disney movies with popcorn and coke (the drink).

No, I’m not doing drugs.

I do not feel like an adult. I don't. I feel like a kid who has to make decisions that will affect her whole LIFE. NO PRESSURE. 

Because for me, there's more to 21 than being allowed to buy alcohol. I feel like it's this huge milestone, this AGE. And then there are huge expectations. I feel like everyone expects me to be even MORE of an adult now. Honestly, I want to stay in a onesie all day, eat ice-cream, and watch cartoons. My life and responsibilities will basically be the same 12^th as it is today, the 11^th. I don’t know. I’m not super thrilled.

I guess I’ll just come out and say it. I’m frightened. Scared out of my wits.

I had these expectations when I was younger than when I turn 21, my life will be look like (fill in the blank). And by no means am I complaining about my life because I am incredibly blessed and I am thankful for where the Lord has me, It’s just that’s scary to think “Why! I thought life would be like this by this age, and now that I see that it’s NOT that way, WHAT DOES THE FUTURE LOOK LIKE?!?!! O MY GOSH” Panic ensues.

I’m excited to purchase an alcoholic beverage, get fancy, but gosh, the responsibilities and cultural expectations that comes with this age- I’ll pass.

I will buy a drink, but I’m not going to get drunk and I never want to be drunk. It sounds painful, miserable, and just stupid. I can make stupid decisions without the use of alcohol and have been for the last 20 years thank you very much. (That being said, if you want to contribute to my bar, feel free to send me alcohol. And if you need more help with that, you can now purchase wine on Amazon. Email me for my address. )


PS- This is more of a rant. I'm not ungrateful. I AM excited to celebrate another year of life and reflect on the abundance God has given me. This is more my frustration with the "age 21". We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oh boy.