Why I don't want to turn 21

I'M NOT

I should not be allowed to make big decisions for my life (even though I already have...) . I should not allowed to get older (even though I am). I'm a child for crying out loud.  My idea of ultimate fun is not going out, drinking, or doing whatever it is I can now do "legally " (not saying I won't enjoy it).  No, ultimate fun = Disney movies with popcorn and coke (the drink).

No, I’m not doing drugs.

I do not feel like an adult. I don't. I feel like a kid who has to make decisions that will affect her whole LIFE. NO PRESSURE. 

Because for me, there's more to 21 than being allowed to buy alcohol. I feel like it's this huge milestone, this AGE. And then there are huge expectations. I feel like everyone expects me to be even MORE of an adult now. Honestly, I want to stay in a onesie all day, eat ice-cream, and watch cartoons. My life and responsibilities will basically be the same 12^th as it is today, the 11^th. I don’t know. I’m not super thrilled.

I guess I’ll just come out and say it. I’m frightened. Scared out of my wits.

I had these expectations when I was younger than when I turn 21, my life will be look like (fill in the blank). And by no means am I complaining about my life because I am incredibly blessed and I am thankful for where the Lord has me, It’s just that’s scary to think “Why! I thought life would be like this by this age, and now that I see that it’s NOT that way, WHAT DOES THE FUTURE LOOK LIKE?!?!! O MY GOSH” Panic ensues.

I’m excited to purchase an alcoholic beverage, get fancy, but gosh, the responsibilities and cultural expectations that comes with this age- I’ll pass.

I will buy a drink, but I’m not going to get drunk and I never want to be drunk. It sounds painful, miserable, and just stupid. I can make stupid decisions without the use of alcohol and have been for the last 20 years thank you very much. (That being said, if you want to contribute to my bar, feel free to send me alcohol. And if you need more help with that, you can now purchase wine on Amazon. Email me for my address. )


PS- This is more of a rant. I'm not ungrateful. I AM excited to celebrate another year of life and reflect on the abundance God has given me. This is more my frustration with the "age 21". We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oh boy.

Social Media

If it suits your fancy to explore my other social media outlets, here they are- 

Instagram- instagram.com/LeitaVictory

Twitter - twitter.com/LeitaVictory

Vine- LeitaVictory 
Email

I am on facebook but I'm not giving that out. I only add people I know personally. 

Happy 50th Birthday Mum!!!

At the first of the month, this lovely lady reached half a century. What a champ.

I'm sad you’re on the other side of the world Mum, but when you return- we shall par-tay.

Handel's Messiah, Davies Symphony Hall, 2012

Back when I was nine up until I was about fifteen, I would hand-make birthday cards for my family. It included a heartfelt limerick, telling why I thought this person was special and expressing my thankfulness for their existence, and of course, merriment for their birthday. I don’t remember consciously saying to myself “I will no longer do this” but for some reason (getting older and being too busy), I stopped. Sad really. Because even though my poems were a little cheesy, it was meaningful. So I will consciously say now, “ I will start doing this again”. I will start writing more meaningful letters and cards and emails. (once soon coming your way...maybe...)

A few weeks ago, I attended a retreat in which we studied the Psalms and poetry. We were encouraged to write and share our poems. Even though my poem was terrible (not very poetic), the exercise rekindled my love and joy for writing poems. Here goes one for Mom's 50th Birthday...!!!

She Turned Fifty

She's the one I can always talk to

She's always has a second to spare

She jokes about being third wheel

Her four letter word is " I don't give a CARE"

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Fighting hard, for so long

Never falling to defeat

She loves to bless others

When her cup overflows

And when it is not bountiful

Her thoughtfulness still shows

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

In the midst of  chaos

She's still calm and neat

She taught me to be straightforward

"No one wants to hear your excuses or complaints"

"Stand your ground, don't let people sway you"

For she was sure I would crumble and wane

"Get to the point" and "Have some class"

She would always say

Striving for truth and efficiency

In the most ladylike way

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Teaching us lessons and hoped those mistakes 

We would never repeat

She knows how to have a good laugh

For hers is easy to distinguish

It is one that neither trial or pain

Can ever diminish

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Always prepared for the obstacles

Along the road we might meet

She is humble and strong

She is bold yet tender

A shoulder to cry on

Her hug is truly a render

Despite criticism and gossip

She had courage to do what was right

At the foot of the cross, praying to Him 

For patience, wisdom, and might

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

We will soon properly celebrate

It will be quite the treat

I Love my Mum.

Cheers!

Weddings and Texas

Weddings and Texas.

“Mawiage is what bwings us here too-geda-  today”

If for some sad reason you are not able to reference that movie quote, I highly suggest you drop everything this minute and watch Princess Bride.

Nov 1, 2013, was a very special day for Hannah and Jordan Sillars, as they exchanged vows and pledged to be together “till death due us part”.

Pretend I took a pretty picture (insert here) of one of the most-good-looking couples of the year. Pretend because I was caught up in everything else and it all happened so fast, I never thought to. Pretend I’m not stupid. Click Me for an adorable picture of Jordan and Hannah

Now, I love weddings. I love marriages. I love it when a man and woman commit their lives to each other in holy matrimony. I love the wedding itself, the celebration, the party, the joy of such special union just makes me so happy. And yes, it’s because I’m a hopeless romantic and yes, it’s because I do believe in true love. (cynic starting now…) But this wedding was special. It wasn’t about the frills and trills of a wedding. It wasn’t about puppy love. Hannah and Jordan made it clear that their relationship was founded on Christ, that their love wasn’t limited to romance, but more…beyond all that, true sacrificial love. It was a joyous occasion to witness and I was so blessed and honoured to have been there. Yes, I do love love. And I love seeing love lived out in two beautiful human beings. 

some pictures during the wedding

(hands on hips galore)

   Mrs Cromer (my Texas Mom) and Glory                                  Glory and Hannah Fain

Mrs. Farver. such.a.sweet.lady o my goodness. love her. 

I adore this girl. 

One huge treat of attending this wedding was seeing Lindsay! Lindsay and I befriended one another 7 years ago at Summer Camp. It was her first and last camp and we just so happened to have stayed friends. At camp, we hung out, we took pictures together (as all camp kids do), and exchanged email address (way back in the day before facebook or even MySpace was a thing). I remember desperately trying to reach her over email but for some reason was “blocked” until she “accepted” my email address. (*cough* homeschooler email alert)  She never did. I cried. (jk. I didn’t)

Fast forward two years, I am in Texas and Hannah walked up to me at Sonlight (home-school co-op)and said something along the lines of “Do you know Lindsey in California?” I’m thinking, “There’s more than ONE Lindsey in California...” But as it turned out, I only knew ONE Lindsey and that’s the same Lindsey Hannah was asking about!

Stop right here. Think about this. I move to Texas, not knowing a soul, meet a girl who knows a girl from California that I once went to camp with. WEIRD. The odds of that happening? Zero. So yes, I believe it was God – appointed.

Lindsey and I were facebook friends, in every meaning of the word. We only talked to each other on facebook. I would see her every once in a while at a few speech and debate tournaments. We always chatted about life but always about how it was weird we knew the same people in Texas, a world so different from our California lives. Other than that, we were mainly facebook buddies.  

 just for kicks- us 2009

Fast forward 4 years after that.

I moved to live with my grandparents for a little bit and started church-hunting in that area. The very first church I visited had a good size college service, which I decided to aslo check out for the first time. I was introduced to one of the staff members. She wanted me to meet other girls too. As I turned around to grab my Bible (back in the day when I use to carry a physical Bible), the staff said to a group of girls “Have you met Leita?” A loud enthusiastic “ LLLEEEIIITTAAA????!?!!?!?!?!?!!!” followed immediately. I whirled around to find Lindsey right in front of me! The Lord has brought us together again after all these years!!! We screamed so loud, as girls do so well when they are beyond excited. We met for coffee a week later that turned out to a huge turning point for me. We talked for over three hours, sharing our lives, our struggles, and our walk with Christ. We ended up seeing each other almost every week, encouraging one another, and sharing many laughs. I was delighted to have such a dear friend so close to me at that time, particularly when I did feel very out of place.

I moved out of my grandparents back to the Bay Area and Lindsey and I still stayed in contact. A year later, she too moved to the same.exact.city (literally 5 minutes from my house). It was obvious God wanted us to be in close friendship.

It’s so easy to be Lindsey’s friend for SHE is an amazing friend. She is a great listener and offers great wisdom. She articulates herself in a gentle way, yet still very affirming and strong. (A character trait I have yet to master.) She has a wonderful sense of humour. She’ll laugh for hours upon end with you.  She is a friend you keep close to your heart because you know that she truly does love you. Her perspective on the world is fascinating and offers thought provoking insights. Her honesty and kindness is very attractive and entices one to be the same. I’m always baffled at how God orchestrates certain friendships, but this one takes the cake. We don’t have that much in common and the few things we do have in common (Texas etc) are honestly, weird things to relate on. None-the-less, we still have the best conversations and I have thoroughly enjoyed her company through and through. She took off to Michigan this year, leaving me to cry myself to sleep every night. (jk. I didn’t cry) So you can imagine the anticipation gripping us before the wedding. We took a few pictures after the wedding (because we were so busy doing other things at the venue.) The Farver’s backyard turned out to be a scenic backdrop.

we can't hold a serious face. 

finally, straight face.

ps- cows in their front yard. like-no-big-deal. #TEXAS

California Girls reunited in Texas

a few pictures of Lindsey. I made her hold still. Thanks for letting me boss you around! ;) 

please note the endless amount of land and sky. 

we have no idea why this is there. maybe someone can tell us. we both thought it looked like the altar where Aslan died. 

We spent two hours wandering around and enjoying the Texas landscape. Lindsey and I are secretly obsessed with Texas and we (not-so-secretly) plan on living in this good ole state one day. We’ll see. The Lord does work in mysterious ways.

ps. a couple more Texas – related entries coming your way… 

all pictures taken with the iPhone 5 and edited on phone using VSCO 

see Leita's VSCO GRID

Throwback Thursday Texas

 I LOVE TEXAS.

Like a lot.

#1 reason- the people. O.my.goodness. They are amazing human beings.

Here’s a picture in honour of throwback Thursday.

A picture taken at 2008 prom.

A picture taken Halloween 2013.

I don’t think I’ve seen Wesley SINCE Prom.

And I haven’t seen Jess in 5 years.

Yet, we were able to hang out and get along like nothing had ever changed.

Again. I love Texas. More pics to come! 

Shaka Hang Loose Bro and Peace

a poem 

Shaka/ Hang Loose Bro and Peace

 over looking the Santa Cruz mountains with an ocean view. 

Sun light is amazing and the clouds. the clouds people. 

No filter.

This is not fake. 

the rest of the pics will be posted eventually with full descriptions. but enjoy that masterpiece. 

ps- and by masterpiece I mean the picture AND the poem. That picture took at least 5 shots. the poem took 5 hours. 

and the End is here.

Today was my last official day working as a therapeutical au pair.
All days now will be considered moon shining.

- July 1,2011

Spiderman

I watched the first SpiderMan night Elanor. I forgot how good it was. “With great power comes great responsibility”…makes me think of this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmFZhNqg_2w

When the goblin’s alter ego was screaming at him, it reminded me of the demons constantly haunting Christians. The demons are always trying to lead our train of thoughts to sinful acts and beckon us over and over to pursuit it. But then again, we don’t need the demons to lead us towards evil for our human nature wants us to be bad. We naturally tend toward sin. Only by the grace of God can we ever overcome  evil.

Another quick note about superheroes- I recall  this interesting podcast by ThisAmericanLife  about superpower/ superheroes (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/178/superpowers)and basically what it’s about is superpowers and how people would use a superpower if they had one. . Growing up with characters Superman, Batman, and Flash, I (and I know it’s cultural) expect super powers to always be used for good. However, the survey found that people would generally choose a super power for their benefit and would rarely use it for “good”. The discovery that the podcast found was while people would say they like the idea of using superpowers for good, in reality, they would use the superpowers selfishly. Invisibility to shop and steal any item, flying to dodge air fares and gas prices, super strength to hurt anyone who angered them, and maybe even x-ray vision to feed their lust. We would want to benefit ourselves as much as we can. The survey confirmed what the Bible clearly states- “The heart is desperately wicked. Who can know it?” -Jeremiah 17:9  We are fall human- “For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”- Romans 3:23

We are not “basically good” as we would like to believe. We are sinful and corrupt.

We enjoy superheroes so much because we like the idea of being saved. Of having someone there in case something happened, and we seem to only enjoy  it fiction. However, Christ is real Saviour for He saved us from the ultimate – Hell. All superheroes are modeled after Him. 

Wrote this is in April 2011. I dont know why I never published it.

music

I am more faithful to Twitter than blogspot and facebook put together. So some life updates,  fave quotes and thoughts (all that fit within 140 characters) will be found on Twitter.

That being said- I want to blab about something- music.

Before I left for Tonga, I fell out of sync with new, popular music. This was in January 2011. Why? I was disgusted with the radio- the autotune crap, the less-than mediocre lyrics, and consistent sexual references (which are not even subliminal anymore.) .I resorted to songs I already loved and decided that “old” music is not “bad” music.  If Old songs that were a pleasure to listen to back when it was released and still sounds good TODAY,it means it’s GOOD music. As the saying goes “Good music never dies”- think Beatles, Queen, Johnny Cash, The Four Tops, Gladys Knights and the Pips, and one of my all time favourites- Relient K…. etc…

During this time, if anyone played ANY popular music and expected me to roll with it received the death glare…and “this music sucks” statement. Think- Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Usher, Katy Perry…

Also, everything sounded exactly the same. I felt like I was listening to the SAME song sung by different artists. “Creative” took on the definition of “recreated- over-edited”.

Then in Tonga, I had no choice but to fall out with popular music (well, pop culture all together).  What a blessing this was. Think about it- not being bombarded by “this is what’s cool to listen to…” no - and even greater- the freedom from the sexual references (and this was just not in music.) There were no billboards with mild, sexual references, no tv ads or junk mail, and because Tongans don’t make sexual jokes in English, it was such an escape.

I enjoyed this escape. While I did wonder “what’s new?” , I felt freedom in listening to whatever I wanted to blast. Popular music does make it’s way to Tonga, but it does not have the in-your-face affect as the States. I even dug deeper and listened to songs I hadn’t listened to in years and found that these songs that spoke truth into my life, made me dance like a fool, and sing my heart out still had the same affect.

I enjoyed the hymns that were carried from the church next door, early Sunday mornings, I heard a variety of international music blasted from cellphones (some good, some terrible and should not even exist), and I even learned some Tonga nursery rhymes (which I never, ever, ever learned.) I even got “Tongan Pop/reggae”. I feel like a traitor saying this, but it’s not genre I will ever willingly listen to…however, some of cousins feel very differently. There were times when I just wanted to go deaf because the “music” was just terrible (my taste…)

But after, four months curiosity got the best me. Thank you facebook and youtube for keeping me a bit updated. All those lyrics statuses were put to good use (especially when facebook blew up with Paradise- by Coldplay) Listening to that magnificent song while being IN paradise was something to cherish.  

I know you’ve all heard it but I want to point out the first verse

“When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach so

She ran away in her sleep

and dreamed of

Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise

Every time she closed her eyes”

Coldplay is definitely talking about me. Thank you Coldplay for narrating my life.

And the of course the chorus tops it off –

“and dreams of Para-para-paradise”

In Vavau- my last month in Tonga- I was beginning to get desperate. My itunes no longer could satisfy my music needs, youtube and 8tracks took forever to load, and I was locked out of all the FREE- music streaming websites due to copyright- playlist.com/spotify/etc.  I was tempted to pirate a bunch of music. Fortunately, one café in Vavau, Mango café had great mixes! Country, alt rock, pop punk, oldies, light rock, hard rock, heavy metal, bumble gum pop…. I later learned that most of the Americans were contributing the mixes- American TEENS. Ridiculous or what? So while enjoying coffee, blogging or just chillin, I got music fix.

Then, New Zealand happened.

Reverse Culture shock galoooreee.

And one of the weird things was the music.

Everything I had escaped came rushing into my ears at 100mph. Along with that New Zealand has a very different music culture. Reggae turns out to be the most popular genre.  Australian and European Artists (predominantly UK) dominate the radio station. This was a nice change. But, I was overwhelmed. The fact that all these songs were in English took some adjustment.  For a while, the bass-line was all I was able to hear. My reticular activating system blocked out most of the melody and even the voices. 







I wrote this in February 2012. and I I have nothing to add. because whatever brilliant things I had to say, died. This is my Mona Lisa. #unfinished 

Ziplining

The video pretty much says it all.



Let me take a five seconds to rave about the experience - They told us that through the tour they wanted us to know it's part recreational, environmental, spiritual,educational, and supports the local community, and also programs for kids in South America. best deal ever.
I didnt know this but when we arrived, we discovered it's a Christain camp that hosts the tours and runs the whole thing. They're incredible! totally open to questions and comments but they werent throwing the Bible or any Christain idioms in your face. So often, Christains are portrayed to be unloving, inhospitable, arrogant human beings. It was so awesome to be a part of something that was the total opposite of that. On top of that, the staff were genuinely kind, helpful, FUN people. I seriously felt like I was going to summer camp. (how I miss camp days!)
Our tour guides were very insightful. They taught us a lot about california, trees ( redwoods, sequoia trees, douglas firs) while keeping us thoroughly entertained with some very chheessy jokes and quite a few witty remarks. Ivan and I were laughing the whole time. seriously. Our tour guides should win some sort of award. They seriously made the experience. It couldve been a lame 2 and 1/2 hours in the trees but no, they made sure we were having the time of our lives. They engaged us in conversation and encouraged us to talk to the complete strangers who were also part of the tour. Entertainment and laughter aside, I also felt completely safe the whole time. Not once did I doubt the staff, their knowledge, or the structures. It's a really awesome set up. It's basically a tree house (consisting mostly of ziplines...)complete with bridges and all for adults. seriously. If youre an adult dying to release your innerchild, this is the place to do it.

Our guides definitely felt like a pair of really cool camp counselors. I was happy to have them guide us along the tour. As we were leaving the camp, one of the complete strangers (who was not so much of a complete stranger after the tour...) commented on the tour guides energy, enthusiasm, positive attitude and their ability to keep it up all day. They mentioned it felt very genuine but also questioned who could they possibly do it. I wanted to scream JEEEEESSSSUUSS!! It's because they have JEEESSSSUUUUSS!!!!

www.sonomacanopytours.com

see- people really do notice. keep living for Christ yall!

and Mom, thanks again for planning this adventure for Ivan and I. You're the best!