Lyrics and Thoughts

It’s interesting how a non-believer’s lyrics can be so ultra-relateable. While they rarely offer redemption, they capture the pain and longing very well.

Moment for Life-

Nicki Minaj

Everybody wanna try to box me in

Suffocating every time it locks me in

Paint they own pictures, then they crop me in

But I will remain where the top begins

I hear the criticism loud and clear

That is how I know that the time is near

See we become alive in a time of fear

And I ain't got no time to spare

Cry my eyes out for days upon days

Such a heavy burden placed upon me

But when you go hard your nay's become yea's

Ultimately, it encourages perseverance. The difference between this and the Christian life is that secular songs encourage perseverance through self empowerment. “If you can’t do it, believe in  yourself and once you believe in yourself, then you can do it. Draw power from yourself.” Basically, the theme of I don’t know, almost EVERY kids movie out there. This is false though because it offers a false sense of empowerment. We must believe that we can accomplish tasks in order to motivate ourselves. But ultimately, as Christians, we draw power from God. He perseveres FOR us and through HIM, we are successful. He doesn't HELP us persevere. He has ALREADY persevered and we grab hold on to Him. 

What didnt do this past weekend.

Jan 31st- Feb 2.
You know what I DIDN'T do this weekend?
Post to Instagram. hahahahahaha.
hahahahahaah. This is funny because sometimes I get paranoid about documenting very artsy environments. It's not about showing off for me, if I wanted to show off, I would. But I like catching moments in a frame and running filters through it. I find it a fun way to capture memories and review later.
and this weekend, well I just didnt have time for that. I had a lot of great opportunities. that dive bar. that deep dish pizza. I was constantly around beautiful people. that AMAZING EGGS FLORENTINE! that christ centered hipster church. the random run in with  now good friends. that huge screen. those couches, lord have mercy I have never seen so many couches. the beers. that baby. YES. believe it or not I gave up the perfect insta moment to post a picture of a BABY and BABIES GARNER 100+ likes guaranteed. think of what it would've done to my ego. *starts stroking*
but it's not really what I missed out that's my main focus. My main focus is my "in the moment" documentation could possibly plague my memory. Sometimes memories are best left to the brain with imagination working together. A memory is better is sometimes better than a photo because a photo you can examine and sometimes have it replaced how you remember the moment. A perfect photo takes perfect timing, lighting, enviornment etc. And even though I had a pleothra of those opportunies, I had no desire to capture it in such a way because I liked the memory I held.
This weekend was a bit of a challenging one. I experienced a growth spurt and I can honestly say I'm not the same person I was on Friday. But what I cherish is that I didn't have pictures but rather the memory itself. That is the only thing I have to hold onto is the wonderful memory.

Why I don't want to turn 21

I'M NOT

I should not be allowed to make big decisions for my life (even though I already have...) . I should not allowed to get older (even though I am). I'm a child for crying out loud.  My idea of ultimate fun is not going out, drinking, or doing whatever it is I can now do "legally " (not saying I won't enjoy it).  No, ultimate fun = Disney movies with popcorn and coke (the drink).

No, I’m not doing drugs.

I do not feel like an adult. I don't. I feel like a kid who has to make decisions that will affect her whole LIFE. NO PRESSURE. 

Because for me, there's more to 21 than being allowed to buy alcohol. I feel like it's this huge milestone, this AGE. And then there are huge expectations. I feel like everyone expects me to be even MORE of an adult now. Honestly, I want to stay in a onesie all day, eat ice-cream, and watch cartoons. My life and responsibilities will basically be the same 12^th as it is today, the 11^th. I don’t know. I’m not super thrilled.

I guess I’ll just come out and say it. I’m frightened. Scared out of my wits.

I had these expectations when I was younger than when I turn 21, my life will be look like (fill in the blank). And by no means am I complaining about my life because I am incredibly blessed and I am thankful for where the Lord has me, It’s just that’s scary to think “Why! I thought life would be like this by this age, and now that I see that it’s NOT that way, WHAT DOES THE FUTURE LOOK LIKE?!?!! O MY GOSH” Panic ensues.

I’m excited to purchase an alcoholic beverage, get fancy, but gosh, the responsibilities and cultural expectations that comes with this age- I’ll pass.

I will buy a drink, but I’m not going to get drunk and I never want to be drunk. It sounds painful, miserable, and just stupid. I can make stupid decisions without the use of alcohol and have been for the last 20 years thank you very much. (That being said, if you want to contribute to my bar, feel free to send me alcohol. And if you need more help with that, you can now purchase wine on Amazon. Email me for my address. )


PS- This is more of a rant. I'm not ungrateful. I AM excited to celebrate another year of life and reflect on the abundance God has given me. This is more my frustration with the "age 21". We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oh boy.

Social Media

If it suits your fancy to explore my other social media outlets, here they are- 

Instagram- instagram.com/LeitaVictory

Twitter - twitter.com/LeitaVictory

Vine- LeitaVictory 
Email

I am on facebook but I'm not giving that out. I only add people I know personally. 

Happy 50th Birthday Mum!!!

At the first of the month, this lovely lady reached half a century. What a champ.

I'm sad you’re on the other side of the world Mum, but when you return- we shall par-tay.

Handel's Messiah, Davies Symphony Hall, 2012

Back when I was nine up until I was about fifteen, I would hand-make birthday cards for my family. It included a heartfelt limerick, telling why I thought this person was special and expressing my thankfulness for their existence, and of course, merriment for their birthday. I don’t remember consciously saying to myself “I will no longer do this” but for some reason (getting older and being too busy), I stopped. Sad really. Because even though my poems were a little cheesy, it was meaningful. So I will consciously say now, “ I will start doing this again”. I will start writing more meaningful letters and cards and emails. (once soon coming your way...maybe...)

A few weeks ago, I attended a retreat in which we studied the Psalms and poetry. We were encouraged to write and share our poems. Even though my poem was terrible (not very poetic), the exercise rekindled my love and joy for writing poems. Here goes one for Mom's 50th Birthday...!!!

She Turned Fifty

She's the one I can always talk to

She's always has a second to spare

She jokes about being third wheel

Her four letter word is " I don't give a CARE"

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Fighting hard, for so long

Never falling to defeat

She loves to bless others

When her cup overflows

And when it is not bountiful

Her thoughtfulness still shows

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

In the midst of  chaos

She's still calm and neat

She taught me to be straightforward

"No one wants to hear your excuses or complaints"

"Stand your ground, don't let people sway you"

For she was sure I would crumble and wane

"Get to the point" and "Have some class"

She would always say

Striving for truth and efficiency

In the most ladylike way

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Teaching us lessons and hoped those mistakes 

We would never repeat

She knows how to have a good laugh

For hers is easy to distinguish

It is one that neither trial or pain

Can ever diminish

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

Always prepared for the obstacles

Along the road we might meet

She is humble and strong

She is bold yet tender

A shoulder to cry on

Her hug is truly a render

Despite criticism and gossip

She had courage to do what was right

At the foot of the cross, praying to Him 

For patience, wisdom, and might

She turned Fifty

That's pretty nifty

And quite the feat

We will soon properly celebrate

It will be quite the treat

I Love my Mum.

Cheers!

Weddings and Texas

Weddings and Texas.

“Mawiage is what bwings us here too-geda-  today”

If for some sad reason you are not able to reference that movie quote, I highly suggest you drop everything this minute and watch Princess Bride.

Nov 1, 2013, was a very special day for Hannah and Jordan Sillars, as they exchanged vows and pledged to be together “till death due us part”.

Pretend I took a pretty picture (insert here) of one of the most-good-looking couples of the year. Pretend because I was caught up in everything else and it all happened so fast, I never thought to. Pretend I’m not stupid. Click Me for an adorable picture of Jordan and Hannah

Now, I love weddings. I love marriages. I love it when a man and woman commit their lives to each other in holy matrimony. I love the wedding itself, the celebration, the party, the joy of such special union just makes me so happy. And yes, it’s because I’m a hopeless romantic and yes, it’s because I do believe in true love. (cynic starting now…) But this wedding was special. It wasn’t about the frills and trills of a wedding. It wasn’t about puppy love. Hannah and Jordan made it clear that their relationship was founded on Christ, that their love wasn’t limited to romance, but more…beyond all that, true sacrificial love. It was a joyous occasion to witness and I was so blessed and honoured to have been there. Yes, I do love love. And I love seeing love lived out in two beautiful human beings. 

some pictures during the wedding

(hands on hips galore)

   Mrs Cromer (my Texas Mom) and Glory                                  Glory and Hannah Fain

Mrs. Farver. such.a.sweet.lady o my goodness. love her. 

I adore this girl. 

One huge treat of attending this wedding was seeing Lindsay! Lindsay and I befriended one another 7 years ago at Summer Camp. It was her first and last camp and we just so happened to have stayed friends. At camp, we hung out, we took pictures together (as all camp kids do), and exchanged email address (way back in the day before facebook or even MySpace was a thing). I remember desperately trying to reach her over email but for some reason was “blocked” until she “accepted” my email address. (*cough* homeschooler email alert)  She never did. I cried. (jk. I didn’t)

Fast forward two years, I am in Texas and Hannah walked up to me at Sonlight (home-school co-op)and said something along the lines of “Do you know Lindsey in California?” I’m thinking, “There’s more than ONE Lindsey in California...” But as it turned out, I only knew ONE Lindsey and that’s the same Lindsey Hannah was asking about!

Stop right here. Think about this. I move to Texas, not knowing a soul, meet a girl who knows a girl from California that I once went to camp with. WEIRD. The odds of that happening? Zero. So yes, I believe it was God – appointed.

Lindsey and I were facebook friends, in every meaning of the word. We only talked to each other on facebook. I would see her every once in a while at a few speech and debate tournaments. We always chatted about life but always about how it was weird we knew the same people in Texas, a world so different from our California lives. Other than that, we were mainly facebook buddies.  

 just for kicks- us 2009

Fast forward 4 years after that.

I moved to live with my grandparents for a little bit and started church-hunting in that area. The very first church I visited had a good size college service, which I decided to aslo check out for the first time. I was introduced to one of the staff members. She wanted me to meet other girls too. As I turned around to grab my Bible (back in the day when I use to carry a physical Bible), the staff said to a group of girls “Have you met Leita?” A loud enthusiastic “ LLLEEEIIITTAAA????!?!!?!?!?!?!!!” followed immediately. I whirled around to find Lindsey right in front of me! The Lord has brought us together again after all these years!!! We screamed so loud, as girls do so well when they are beyond excited. We met for coffee a week later that turned out to a huge turning point for me. We talked for over three hours, sharing our lives, our struggles, and our walk with Christ. We ended up seeing each other almost every week, encouraging one another, and sharing many laughs. I was delighted to have such a dear friend so close to me at that time, particularly when I did feel very out of place.

I moved out of my grandparents back to the Bay Area and Lindsey and I still stayed in contact. A year later, she too moved to the same.exact.city (literally 5 minutes from my house). It was obvious God wanted us to be in close friendship.

It’s so easy to be Lindsey’s friend for SHE is an amazing friend. She is a great listener and offers great wisdom. She articulates herself in a gentle way, yet still very affirming and strong. (A character trait I have yet to master.) She has a wonderful sense of humour. She’ll laugh for hours upon end with you.  She is a friend you keep close to your heart because you know that she truly does love you. Her perspective on the world is fascinating and offers thought provoking insights. Her honesty and kindness is very attractive and entices one to be the same. I’m always baffled at how God orchestrates certain friendships, but this one takes the cake. We don’t have that much in common and the few things we do have in common (Texas etc) are honestly, weird things to relate on. None-the-less, we still have the best conversations and I have thoroughly enjoyed her company through and through. She took off to Michigan this year, leaving me to cry myself to sleep every night. (jk. I didn’t cry) So you can imagine the anticipation gripping us before the wedding. We took a few pictures after the wedding (because we were so busy doing other things at the venue.) The Farver’s backyard turned out to be a scenic backdrop.

we can't hold a serious face. 

finally, straight face.

ps- cows in their front yard. like-no-big-deal. #TEXAS

California Girls reunited in Texas

a few pictures of Lindsey. I made her hold still. Thanks for letting me boss you around! ;) 

please note the endless amount of land and sky. 

we have no idea why this is there. maybe someone can tell us. we both thought it looked like the altar where Aslan died. 

We spent two hours wandering around and enjoying the Texas landscape. Lindsey and I are secretly obsessed with Texas and we (not-so-secretly) plan on living in this good ole state one day. We’ll see. The Lord does work in mysterious ways.

ps. a couple more Texas – related entries coming your way… 

all pictures taken with the iPhone 5 and edited on phone using VSCO 

see Leita's VSCO GRID

Throwback Thursday Texas

 I LOVE TEXAS.

Like a lot.

#1 reason- the people. O.my.goodness. They are amazing human beings.

Here’s a picture in honour of throwback Thursday.

A picture taken at 2008 prom.

A picture taken Halloween 2013.

I don’t think I’ve seen Wesley SINCE Prom.

And I haven’t seen Jess in 5 years.

Yet, we were able to hang out and get along like nothing had ever changed.

Again. I love Texas. More pics to come! 

Shaka Hang Loose Bro and Peace

a poem 

Shaka/ Hang Loose Bro and Peace

 over looking the Santa Cruz mountains with an ocean view. 

Sun light is amazing and the clouds. the clouds people. 

No filter.

This is not fake. 

the rest of the pics will be posted eventually with full descriptions. but enjoy that masterpiece. 

ps- and by masterpiece I mean the picture AND the poem. That picture took at least 5 shots. the poem took 5 hours. 

and the End is here.

Today was my last official day working as a therapeutical au pair.
All days now will be considered moon shining.

- July 1,2011

Spiderman

I watched the first SpiderMan night Elanor. I forgot how good it was. “With great power comes great responsibility”…makes me think of this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmFZhNqg_2w

When the goblin’s alter ego was screaming at him, it reminded me of the demons constantly haunting Christians. The demons are always trying to lead our train of thoughts to sinful acts and beckon us over and over to pursuit it. But then again, we don’t need the demons to lead us towards evil for our human nature wants us to be bad. We naturally tend toward sin. Only by the grace of God can we ever overcome  evil.

Another quick note about superheroes- I recall  this interesting podcast by ThisAmericanLife  about superpower/ superheroes (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/178/superpowers)and basically what it’s about is superpowers and how people would use a superpower if they had one. . Growing up with characters Superman, Batman, and Flash, I (and I know it’s cultural) expect super powers to always be used for good. However, the survey found that people would generally choose a super power for their benefit and would rarely use it for “good”. The discovery that the podcast found was while people would say they like the idea of using superpowers for good, in reality, they would use the superpowers selfishly. Invisibility to shop and steal any item, flying to dodge air fares and gas prices, super strength to hurt anyone who angered them, and maybe even x-ray vision to feed their lust. We would want to benefit ourselves as much as we can. The survey confirmed what the Bible clearly states- “The heart is desperately wicked. Who can know it?” -Jeremiah 17:9  We are fall human- “For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”- Romans 3:23

We are not “basically good” as we would like to believe. We are sinful and corrupt.

We enjoy superheroes so much because we like the idea of being saved. Of having someone there in case something happened, and we seem to only enjoy  it fiction. However, Christ is real Saviour for He saved us from the ultimate – Hell. All superheroes are modeled after Him. 

Wrote this is in April 2011. I dont know why I never published it.